Skip to main content

Trauma and Being LGBTQ

I knew Genevieve about nine months. She was very bright and actually applied for the Thiel Twenty Under Twenty program and made it to the interview stage though she wasn't selected. 

My understanding is this put her in the top ten percent of an extremely elite group. So she was drawn to me in part because I raised and homeschooled two twice exceptional sons and was involved with The TAG Project 

I was fairly uniquely qualified to help a troubled youth with enormous potential and she had an unusual depth of knowledge about anything that interested her, including all things trans related.

She dumped a huge list of trans resources on me which I later reposted to a shitty discussion forum of classist assholes that was "a safe space" for LGBTQ individuals and they imagined they were smart and talented and didn't know one tenth what I knew from having had a brief but intense relationship to a very gifted trans youth.

The single most positive piece she shared with me was called Mom, I need to be a Girl.
 It describes a best case scenario where the immediate family was very supportive and things overall went well.

My own biological twice exceptional kids were always quirky and one identifies as asexual. Genevieve told me that ASD kids like mine trend towards some flavor of LGBTQ and nonbinary.

My oldest is seriously handicapped, including having various eyesight issues. He likes bright colors in part because he can see them and discussions on TAGMAX suggest that's the norm for color blind boys.

Their love of bright yellow or fuschia or similar says nothing about their sexuality or gender identity. It just says "I'm damn near blind and this is my favorite shirt because I can SEE it."

So at one point my oldest owned a clamshell pink Nintendo DS, in part to distinguish it from his brother's black one and in part because he likes colors like pink and orange. 

He knew that a boy with a pink portable gaming system was practically asking to be picked on, so he mentally practiced comebacks along the lines of "So you're sufficiently insecure about your masculinity you can't have a pink DS?"

And then no one ever said one word to him about it. 

He did a lot of weird stuff that seemed to draw no comment. I think it went that way because he felt comfortable and people pick on people signaling their emotional vulnerability with body language and he didn't have that.

I believe that trauma in the LGBTQ community from family that simply cannot accept them is so common that most people cannot distinguish the damage done by abusive bullshit from "LGBTQ."

If you are a parent, I suggest you get with the person in the mirror and get over your crap.

If you're LGBTQ and your family just couldn't accept you: It's not you, it's them, and it's really not about your sexual orientation or gender identity. 

Some people Have Issues and psychologically speaking "shouldn't have kids." There are plenty of people with abusive parents and they aren't all LGBTQ. 

Last, when I used to argue with buttheads on the internet who would quote some figure at me about "The 5 percent of kids who were abused as children are THIRTY PERCENT of abusive parents. It dramatically increases your risk! Like SIX FOLD!"

I just politely sneered at them "So you're telling me TWO THIRDS of abusive parents weren't abused kids and have no excuse?"

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Anger Management

I was molested and raped as a child. I spent my teens and twenties filled with anger. My therapist once said something like "How did I know you were angry? Maybe it was the flames shooting out your ears." He wasn't actually talking about me. He was describing someone else. But he could have been talking about me. I took up role playing gaming in my teens and my first character was a Red Sonja-esque character with long red tresses. She was a fighter mage and she had issues. Gaming was good for me. I made a lot of friends and they were mostly male and they were protective of me. I began to put down my baggage. At some point, I retired that first character because she was so angry and toxic and I wasn't anymore. Playing her required me to put back on the mantel of so much baggage that I had worked hard to put down and it wasn't good for me to keep that alive. In my late twenties, me and my husband bought a house and it was about thirty minutes from the ...
Read more

Terminology, History and Context

From a previous post called The Closet : At one time, I thought that being a "closeted gay" meant something like you slept alone or dated same-sex people secretly. I have come to understand that term differently over the years. I've just left a comment on Reddit in a discussion about the past stating again that at one time I thought closeted meant handling things discreetly but that's not how that word gets used. I did so because of a reply to an earlier  comment of mine where the reply says "We were closeted. To do otherwise meant you'd lose your job." because I talked about the fact that we don't really know how LGBTQ stuff was handled because the written records we have don't really give you a good picture. I initially thought my "weirdo" interpretation of closeted was me being stupid or something but this little exchange has me rethinking that. I'm thinking now that perhaps at one time closeted  was used to mean handling it di...
Post a Comment
Read more

JK Rowling

As noted by me elsewhere, a lot of people are NOT good at saying "Yes, they are famous, but they are sourcing that info from their ass. Their opinions on THIS subject aren't important." If people were good at that, JK Rowling could not be trolling planet Earth with talking smack about trans issues merely because she's famous. It's been some months since I stated a very mild opinion about JK Rowling's transphobic trolling of planet Earth. My understanding is her shit continues unabated and I'm not okay with that fact. 1. I have a serious medical condition and used to really start shit online without meaning to do so. If she's not merely a thoroughly hateful, evil person, the most charitable guess is she's got a serious medical condition and is trolling planet Earth from her sick bed for entertainment. I was not intentionally shit stirring, was not famous nor influential and I put enormous effort into figuring out how to not be so problematic. I ca...
Post a Comment
Read more