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It's a rainy Friday morning here.

To my surprise, this blog already has a whopping four posts dated 2026. This will be the fifth post this year.

I thought it was deader than that.

I have a lot to say about a lot of topics. It's fueled a bunch of different blogs while I try desperately to both "find my voice" and figure out how to open my mouth in public without undue drama.

I've spent years throwing things at a wall and seeing what works. I have several blogs that either gelled after multiple attempts to find my voice, like Native Influence that finally came together earlier this year after multiple tries that got redacted in whole or in part, or blogs that were the umpteenth attempt to make a blog about a concept, like Feminine Character Works replaced a project called Feminist Slacking.

I also have a history of giving up on a project and declaring it DEAD, then finally writing buckets. That happened on Project SRO where I did a brain dump of unpolished stuff after announcing "I'm done and this project is on hiatus!"

I'm not trying to flounce out. That's an expression used to describe people who dramatically announce they are LEAVING some forum or other. It's a running gag because such people frequently return to the forum after flouncing out, sometimes repeatedly.

I'm just trying to make MY LIFE work and I had my reasons for being interested in writing content by, for and about the LGBTQ crowd.

I've just written a piece elsewhere that hypothetically could have been posted here and wasn't. It's not posted here in part because I feel like posting it here would be a stronger accusation "You're REALLY GAY, aren't you?!" and I'm not interested in putting anyone on the spot, which is perhaps a silly reason given my lack of traction or traffic.

And it's also not here because I have never been accepted by the LGBTQ crowd nor treated kindly by them. I've been given a great deal of crap over trying to figure out how to self identify as not straight but mostly interested in men and trying to be some kind of advocate for the LGBTQ community.

Genevieve burned me for being supportive to her. I have no traffic. I make almost no money. The LGBTQ crowd has been extremely vocal about not wanting my so-called "help" and STFU bitch and stop pretending you are one of us because you kissed a few girls as an adolescent.

Never mind that I read as much as I have because I have a policy of forewarning men I'm not actually straight in hopes of not ending up in the ER after locking lips with some raging homophobe who THOUGHT I was straight.

Y'all hate me. I hate you back at this point.

I'm not interested in dramatically announcing that I'm so DONE trying to help you ungrateful bastards and bitches and not doing this blog anymore or something like that.

I'm just noticing that I wrote a piece I could have posted here and I posted it elsewhere and maybe that's the start of a trend and maybe it's not.

If you are LGBTQ and wondering why there's not more resources for you and your needs, well, maybe OPENLY hating on everyone who wants to provide them is a factor. Because I'm not really feeling it anymore and I am loyal to a fault.

But I'm probably going to be celibate for the rest of my life and don't really need to fret about how to tell men "So, like, FYI, I'm not really straight. Please don't hit me. K? Thanks."

And I'm so OVER feeling like "Maybe I should be on record as not straight in case I fall madly in love with a woman and don't want people giving me shit like I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT????" 

Did you? Why is this my problem?

So I seem to be running out of internal motive for crawling naked across broken glass while everyone hates on me for wanting to develop LGBTQ resources and the universe sure as hell isn't giving me external motivation, like money or validation that it MATTERS, so PLEASE PLEASE don't stop!

I've got no emotional drama left to fuel flouncing out. I'm incredibly "Meh, not my problem." about the whole thing at this point.

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