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Abusers Abuse People. It's What They Do.

Nothing you do actually prevents other people from doing right by you. 

If you are awful enough, people may not do as you wish because of your problematic behavior, but if someone is intentionally shafting you, you trying to protect yourself doesn't somehow STOP them from actually trying to do right by you at long last.

Any CLAIMS they make that you moving to protect yourself is WHY they have no choice but to continue shafting you is just more lying abusive bullshit. 

All abusive assholes ALWAYS consistently shit all over others and then make up lying shit about how that's somehow the fault of their victim KNOWING ahead of time they intended to shit all over that person regardless of what they did.

Claiming they somehow NEED the cooperation of their victim in order to stop being rampantly abusive is just part of the pattern of abuse. If you go along with the ridiculous demands of abusive people, the abuser gets what they want and then they continue shitting all over you every fucking step of the way while claiming every god-damned day that you need to be patient, these things take time, you need to UNDERSTAND, it's still somehow your fault etc etc etc etc etc.

Some weeks ago, some guy bashed me in the face. He did so before he got a good look at me and then he told me it was my fault for not answering a question I had no obligation to answer and didn't clearly hear over heavy traffic a few feet away.

He heard my voice, thereby determined I was female and almost certainly believed I was ALONE in a secluded spot not visible from the noisy and heavily trafficked road a few feet away which would have handily covered up my screams while being gang raped by him and his buddy. He decided he would rape me based solely on those details before he had any idea what I even looked like or how I was dressed and proceeded to bash me repeatedly in the face while telling me it was somehow my fault.

Abusers abuse people. It's what they do. And then they tell their victims "It's YOUR fault I did that because x." If it had gone differently, they would have said "It's YOUR fault I did that because y."

Yes, there actually ARE situations where what you choose to do impacts how other people treat you. But if you are dealing with an abuser, everything they say about YOUR behavior and how YOU somehow brought this on yourself is a LIE.

The fact that with SOME people what YOU do changes things is merely smoke to help them cover up the truth about their own behavior. What's true when dealing with reasonable people isn't true when dealing with abusers and them claiming it works that way is part of the abuse because it's an implicit claim that they are reasonable people when they aren't.

The sooner you realize that no matter what you do, this person will intentionally hurt you and then say "(Fill in the blank with something you did) is WHY I did this nasty thing to you.", the better off you are.

They won't treat you any better regardless of what you do, but you can start making an effort to protect yourself from their shit and make it harder for them to get what they want.

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