I think for some women, by the time they figure out that they aren't actually attracted to men, they are married and have offspring already and that makes it tough to come out of the closet.
In a nutshell, I think some married well women are really closeted gay gals and over time it warps them psychologically into being sadists and they are frequently angry at their husband, like it's his fault.
And I think this can result in a situation where some gal de facto made a sex for money deal and doesn't want to uphold her end of the bargain because she hates having sex with a man.
And I think it likely gets made worse by the fact that men with money tend to have ambition -- AKA drive -- and that kind of drive tends to be associated with another kind of drive: sex drive.
Historically, if a man was wealthy and powerful enough, society tended to look the other way and not care if he had both a wife and mistress. That's mostly no longer socially acceptable and power is fundamentally rooted in influence over people, so men who flout the rules too much or too openly tend to not have it.
Anyway, if you have belatedly realized you are a married-well gay woman and you resent your well-paid husband expecting you to put out and you constantly "have a headache," that's basically a bait and switch deal.
YOU implicitly promised to meet his sexual needs in a monogamous relationship where planet Earth expects a good man to be faithful to you in exchange for a materially comfortable life. If he's delivering on the nice life part and you are not delivering on the meeting his needs in bed part, there's a word for that: FRAUD.
When I worked in insurance, "the F word" meant fraud.
Why, yes, it sucks to be you. Guess what? It also sucks to be him and finding himself in a situation where he played by all the rules and was a good man and no matter what he does, he can't get his needs met.
Yes, it's a giant pain in the butt to get divorced and, yes, odds are poor that a woman can support herself in the same style to which her husband's money has accustomed her.
I was a homemaker who got divorced and I've spent several years homeless post divorce. I never once for one nanosecond went "I should have stayed married!"
My life as a poor single woman with agency has been vastly better than my life as a materially comfortably well off wife ever was.
It would be nice if I could have both. But if I can only have one, I'd rather have agency.
Give me liberty or give me death.
Benjamin Franklin once said: "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." And my experience and observation of life suggests that without liberty -- AKA agency -- you tend to not have security.
This world is a MESS and closeted gays who CHOOSE to stay closeted and blame other people are part of the problem, not part of the solution.
Current social paradigms burn cis het women just as much they burn the LGBTQ crowd. They also burn a lot of straight MEN with successful careers.
We need another answer. We need a different social paradigm that serves all of humanity better.
It will most likely start to be born of INDIVIDUALS realizing what's wrong with their lives and tackling the problem head on.
Birth of a better world is actively undermined by individuals cutting their own throats in important ways to cling to a materially comfortable life while their souls whither on the vine and they subject themselves to a private hell of their own making.
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