If you are a MtF transsexual, you may be growing your hair out for the first time in your life as part of your transition. This may come with unexpected challenges.
I have had long hair -- halfway down my back -- only once in my life in my teens. For much of my adult life, my hair length stayed somewhere between chin length and shoulder length and then about fifteen or so years ago, I cut it much shorter due to a health crisis.
So during the pandemic, when everyone had bad haircuts because so many of us were cutting our own, I let my hair grow out for about a year. And what I learned is that in the decade-plus that I have had very short hair, I have completely forgotten how to deal with my hair.
So I cut it short again, in part because that's what I currently feel equipped to deal with.
When my hair is short enough, I don't have to be picky about what shampoo I use. Just about anything is fine.
This is not true when my hair is even a little bit long and I was not finding any of the shampoo brands I remember using the last time I had longer hair. So my hair looked awful and it looked awful in part because I could not figure out what shampoo to buy.
In my case, there is a common ingredient that I need to avoid and I'm not sure I even remember the name of it. (Balsam???) If I buy a shampoo with that particular ingredient and my hair is not super short, my hair feels real tacky and it just is very uncooperative.
My hair is naturally wavy and when it is short, I sometimes look like I have flames for hair. Without putting any product in it, it stands up and has interesting waves and texture and looks wonderful and people assume I am using product and spending time styling it when I have done NOTHING with it other than finger comb it into place after showering so it dries in the right direction/shape.
Because it has waves, some lengths of hair are super awkward on me. As it gets a little longer, the weight of the hair puts an end to looking like flame-hair girl and it looks a lot straighter than it really is because it's not yet long enough for the waves to display nicely while laying down, so I just end up looking like something out of Revenge of the Nerds.
Because my hair has been short for so long, I don't currently own a comb, brush, hairdryer or ANY other hair accoutrements, like scrunchies or hair pins. The idea of acquiring such from scratch when I own NOTHING is intimidating and not something I can cope with currently.
I never felt I was real big into doing stuff with my hair when I was younger. I never felt like I had much of a collection of hair stuff, but I have absolutely NOTHING right now and I'm in a place you might be in if you are starting your transition and I am shocked at how big a hurdle this seems like in spite of a lifetime of prior experience with having longer hair and doing girly things.
Because my hair is wavy, I had special wide-toothed detangling combs when I was younger. I can't use "regular" combs. They don't work for me.
Because my hair is wavy, I had round brushes, not flat ones. Flat brushes do nothing for me.
When I was a child, my mom had sponge curlers that she altered so I could comfortably sleep in them. I would wash my hair in the evening, she would put in curlers while the hair was still wet and I would sleep in them. In the morning before school, she would take the curlers out and I had fabulous curls that lasted for hours with no product.
As an adult, I found that to be too much to fuss with, but I had other tricks, like washing my hair in the morning, putting it up in a ponytail while still wet and then having wonderfully controlled waves (without frizz) in the evening without using any product.
Because I am allergic to everything, I have only had my hair dyed ONCE. I was visiting my mother who always liked it when my hair is a little more on the blonde side and it was very brunette at the time. She paid extra to get me the most hypoallergenic stuff and I broke out in hives anyway and you couldn't even tell it had been dyed. I will probably never use hair dye again.
What does work for me without causing hives is peroxide or salt water or lemon. I can go to the beach or I can spritz lemon or peroxide on my hair and go outside in the sun and get much blonder without breaking out in hives.
(Pro tip: Spritzing lemon on your hair and going outside can draw bees to you. A flower garden is probably not the best place to hang at such times.)
Having stepped away from most of those practices for more than a decade, I feel completely lost as to where to begin to reincorporate such things back into my life and I used to know what I was doing and people noticed and commented on my great hair. So if you are growing your hair long for the first time and it's not going well, don't kick yourself too much.
Instead, do your research and try, try again. And when you are frustrated, it may help to remind yourself that cis girls are typically taught how to do girly hair things from the time they are toddlers, so a fifteen year old girl may have thirteen years of education and experience that you likely lack.
See also: Transitioning Your Look: A Postponed Adolescent Experience
"...and you've been using this on your hair?"
I have had long hair -- halfway down my back -- only once in my life in my teens. For much of my adult life, my hair length stayed somewhere between chin length and shoulder length and then about fifteen or so years ago, I cut it much shorter due to a health crisis.
So during the pandemic, when everyone had bad haircuts because so many of us were cutting our own, I let my hair grow out for about a year. And what I learned is that in the decade-plus that I have had very short hair, I have completely forgotten how to deal with my hair.
So I cut it short again, in part because that's what I currently feel equipped to deal with.
When my hair is short enough, I don't have to be picky about what shampoo I use. Just about anything is fine.
This is not true when my hair is even a little bit long and I was not finding any of the shampoo brands I remember using the last time I had longer hair. So my hair looked awful and it looked awful in part because I could not figure out what shampoo to buy.
In my case, there is a common ingredient that I need to avoid and I'm not sure I even remember the name of it. (Balsam???) If I buy a shampoo with that particular ingredient and my hair is not super short, my hair feels real tacky and it just is very uncooperative.
My hair is naturally wavy and when it is short, I sometimes look like I have flames for hair. Without putting any product in it, it stands up and has interesting waves and texture and looks wonderful and people assume I am using product and spending time styling it when I have done NOTHING with it other than finger comb it into place after showering so it dries in the right direction/shape.
Because it has waves, some lengths of hair are super awkward on me. As it gets a little longer, the weight of the hair puts an end to looking like flame-hair girl and it looks a lot straighter than it really is because it's not yet long enough for the waves to display nicely while laying down, so I just end up looking like something out of Revenge of the Nerds.
Because my hair has been short for so long, I don't currently own a comb, brush, hairdryer or ANY other hair accoutrements, like scrunchies or hair pins. The idea of acquiring such from scratch when I own NOTHING is intimidating and not something I can cope with currently.
I never felt I was real big into doing stuff with my hair when I was younger. I never felt like I had much of a collection of hair stuff, but I have absolutely NOTHING right now and I'm in a place you might be in if you are starting your transition and I am shocked at how big a hurdle this seems like in spite of a lifetime of prior experience with having longer hair and doing girly things.
Because my hair is wavy, I had special wide-toothed detangling combs when I was younger. I can't use "regular" combs. They don't work for me.
Because my hair is wavy, I had round brushes, not flat ones. Flat brushes do nothing for me.
When I was a child, my mom had sponge curlers that she altered so I could comfortably sleep in them. I would wash my hair in the evening, she would put in curlers while the hair was still wet and I would sleep in them. In the morning before school, she would take the curlers out and I had fabulous curls that lasted for hours with no product.
As an adult, I found that to be too much to fuss with, but I had other tricks, like washing my hair in the morning, putting it up in a ponytail while still wet and then having wonderfully controlled waves (without frizz) in the evening without using any product.
Because I am allergic to everything, I have only had my hair dyed ONCE. I was visiting my mother who always liked it when my hair is a little more on the blonde side and it was very brunette at the time. She paid extra to get me the most hypoallergenic stuff and I broke out in hives anyway and you couldn't even tell it had been dyed. I will probably never use hair dye again.
What does work for me without causing hives is peroxide or salt water or lemon. I can go to the beach or I can spritz lemon or peroxide on my hair and go outside in the sun and get much blonder without breaking out in hives.
(Pro tip: Spritzing lemon on your hair and going outside can draw bees to you. A flower garden is probably not the best place to hang at such times.)
Having stepped away from most of those practices for more than a decade, I feel completely lost as to where to begin to reincorporate such things back into my life and I used to know what I was doing and people noticed and commented on my great hair. So if you are growing your hair long for the first time and it's not going well, don't kick yourself too much.
Instead, do your research and try, try again. And when you are frustrated, it may help to remind yourself that cis girls are typically taught how to do girly hair things from the time they are toddlers, so a fifteen year old girl may have thirteen years of education and experience that you likely lack.
See also: Transitioning Your Look: A Postponed Adolescent Experience