In some times and places in history and in the world today, it's easier than in others to admit you are LGBTQ. And for some individuals, because of how their mind works or how they were raised or whatever, it's easier than for others.
And, of course, it's wonderful if you can get social and emotional support and useful information for helping you with something like that. It's one of the reasons this blog exists, though there are plenty of OTHER resources these days, such as r/ComingOut.
But whether it's hard or easy for YOU as an individual or for people where you live, ultimately it's an inside job. Only YOU can decide to continue to hide your real sexual orientation or gender identity and only YOU can decide you want to come out and stop living in the shadows and letting it warp you.
If you are in a hetero relationship -- especially if you are married and/or financially dependent on your partner -- you will need to deal with practical matters of how to tell your partner, how to separate your lives and how to support yourself. And it may be something that will take substantial time to fully complete the transition, especially if you want to minimize drama and have a somewhat smooth and comfortable transition.
If you use that as an EXCUSE to not bother -- that it's hard, that it involves work and there will be no instant gratification -- you need to admit it's an EXCUSE.
People don't graduate high school overnight or build careers overnight or raise kids overnight. A lot of things take time -- years and years -- and still get accomplished by ordinary people on a routine basis.
Is it reasonable to delay coming out if you are -- for example -- a teenager and KNOW your parents would throw you out into the streets? Sure.
But when push comes to shove, ONLY YOU can decide to make your peace with yourself and admit this is what you are.
You can spend your entire life waiting for "the perfect answer" or for someone else to somehow rescue you in some way and never find it. If it is going to happen and NOT be a negative experience of being OUTTED with possibly hostile intent from angry people who feel hurt for some reason, YOU have to take responsibility for it.
If you are waiting for a whole lot of OTHER PEOPLE to come out so the world changes, I will suggest:
Similarly, if you want the numbers to change so MORE gays are openly gay and this impacts world culture to make life easier for gays, YOU are the person you have the most control over and YOU can choose to stop being part of the problem and become part of the solution.
I really love the movie Bedazzled and watching it may help -- wherever he goes, there he is and he is always in his own way -- but for a quick bit of inspiration, the end song is called Change Your Mind and one of the lines is "If you want to be somebody else, change your mind."
And, of course, it's wonderful if you can get social and emotional support and useful information for helping you with something like that. It's one of the reasons this blog exists, though there are plenty of OTHER resources these days, such as r/ComingOut.
But whether it's hard or easy for YOU as an individual or for people where you live, ultimately it's an inside job. Only YOU can decide to continue to hide your real sexual orientation or gender identity and only YOU can decide you want to come out and stop living in the shadows and letting it warp you.
If you are in a hetero relationship -- especially if you are married and/or financially dependent on your partner -- you will need to deal with practical matters of how to tell your partner, how to separate your lives and how to support yourself. And it may be something that will take substantial time to fully complete the transition, especially if you want to minimize drama and have a somewhat smooth and comfortable transition.
If you use that as an EXCUSE to not bother -- that it's hard, that it involves work and there will be no instant gratification -- you need to admit it's an EXCUSE.
People don't graduate high school overnight or build careers overnight or raise kids overnight. A lot of things take time -- years and years -- and still get accomplished by ordinary people on a routine basis.
Is it reasonable to delay coming out if you are -- for example -- a teenager and KNOW your parents would throw you out into the streets? Sure.
But when push comes to shove, ONLY YOU can decide to make your peace with yourself and admit this is what you are.
You can spend your entire life waiting for "the perfect answer" or for someone else to somehow rescue you in some way and never find it. If it is going to happen and NOT be a negative experience of being OUTTED with possibly hostile intent from angry people who feel hurt for some reason, YOU have to take responsibility for it.
If you are waiting for a whole lot of OTHER PEOPLE to come out so the world changes, I will suggest:
You aren't IN traffic. You ARE traffic.It's a saying from urban planning circles when people complain about "Traffic" making their commute too time-consuming. If you think there are too many cars on the road, well, STOP being part of the problem instead of complaining that it's OTHER PEOPLE and you wish THEY would change for YOUR convenience.
Similarly, if you want the numbers to change so MORE gays are openly gay and this impacts world culture to make life easier for gays, YOU are the person you have the most control over and YOU can choose to stop being part of the problem and become part of the solution.
I really love the movie Bedazzled and watching it may help -- wherever he goes, there he is and he is always in his own way -- but for a quick bit of inspiration, the end song is called Change Your Mind and one of the lines is "If you want to be somebody else, change your mind."
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