I've been celibate for medical reasons for a LOT of years. That doesn't mean I haven't gotten any of my need for romance or companionship met. It just means it has involved germ-free connections, like email and phone calls.
People who know me long-distance tend to be super bad about imagining I can and WILL be whatever they want to IMAGINE me to be. It's like I'm some Dream Girl -- some perfect fantasy that checks every box they want to IMAGINE I will check -- and DO NOT CONFUSE THEM WITH THE FACTS.
On Reddit, they say "Remember the human." Meeting people online should come with similar provisos because people just CANNOT seem to get it through their thick skull that there is a REAL PERSON at the other end of that internet connection or phone connection.
A real person made of flesh and blood with bills to pay and etc.
People routinely DECIDE they WANT to marry me, sight unseen. I don't know if I have ever agreed to such. Maybe I did at one time, when I was a lot sicker, and simply don't remember it. But I absolutely DO NOT make such agreements these days.
I read a story on some subreddit once. A story so awful I don't want to link to it. They buried the link and the last time I went looking for it, I got the feeling that linking to it was practically a confession you were a pervert of some sort and it made me feel like promoting it might get law enforcement jumping down my throat.
The story was about a guy who ordered a robot lover online and was abusive to it in bed. And she keeps crying.
The punchline is there was a REAL girl underneath and she has recently DIED, so the robot won't be crying anymore while he beats the hell out of her in bed. With hearing that, he RUNS from the house.
I found it cathartic to read not because I'm some weirdo into BDSM but because it seemed to capture something about long-distance relationships I had where I felt really beat up and felt like I was DYING and they wouldn't stop no matter how much I cried about it.
And there seemed to be no solution because I had long distance relationships FOR REASONS of GERM CONTROL while otherwise CELIBATE in meat space.
TLDR: If you know me long distance, I don't care how much you like me. AT BEST, I am willing to AGREE to meet for a COFFEE DATE -- assuming you have really and truly gotten divorced like you said you would or left your shitty girlfriend like you told me a thousand times you would eventually do while pursuing me hard and simultaneously expecting me to UNDERSTAND.
Do NOT plan to MARRY me. At best, make YOUR divorce happen because YOUR marriage is NOT working. But I am not your property.
Odds are good I will be celibate in meat space for the remainder of my life FOR REASONS OF GERM CONTROL, having nothing to do with what assholes 99 percent of the human race happens to be, especially when it comes to SEX.
And, SO FAR, none of the zillion men who imagined I was their One True Love (TM) whom they would SURELY MARRY has EVER SHOWN THE FUCK UP. Presumably because meeting me in person would require them to wake from the dream and deal with a REAL PERSON who sweats and farts and has bills to pay.
So a word to the wise: I don't recommend "agreeing" to any of the following bullshit for long distance relationships that SO FAR are still online and by phone and you have never even MET THEM in person ONCE:
People who know me long-distance tend to be super bad about imagining I can and WILL be whatever they want to IMAGINE me to be. It's like I'm some Dream Girl -- some perfect fantasy that checks every box they want to IMAGINE I will check -- and DO NOT CONFUSE THEM WITH THE FACTS.
On Reddit, they say "Remember the human." Meeting people online should come with similar provisos because people just CANNOT seem to get it through their thick skull that there is a REAL PERSON at the other end of that internet connection or phone connection.
A real person made of flesh and blood with bills to pay and etc.
People routinely DECIDE they WANT to marry me, sight unseen. I don't know if I have ever agreed to such. Maybe I did at one time, when I was a lot sicker, and simply don't remember it. But I absolutely DO NOT make such agreements these days.
I read a story on some subreddit once. A story so awful I don't want to link to it. They buried the link and the last time I went looking for it, I got the feeling that linking to it was practically a confession you were a pervert of some sort and it made me feel like promoting it might get law enforcement jumping down my throat.
The story was about a guy who ordered a robot lover online and was abusive to it in bed. And she keeps crying.
The punchline is there was a REAL girl underneath and she has recently DIED, so the robot won't be crying anymore while he beats the hell out of her in bed. With hearing that, he RUNS from the house.
I found it cathartic to read not because I'm some weirdo into BDSM but because it seemed to capture something about long-distance relationships I had where I felt really beat up and felt like I was DYING and they wouldn't stop no matter how much I cried about it.
And there seemed to be no solution because I had long distance relationships FOR REASONS of GERM CONTROL while otherwise CELIBATE in meat space.
TLDR: If you know me long distance, I don't care how much you like me. AT BEST, I am willing to AGREE to meet for a COFFEE DATE -- assuming you have really and truly gotten divorced like you said you would or left your shitty girlfriend like you told me a thousand times you would eventually do while pursuing me hard and simultaneously expecting me to UNDERSTAND.
Do NOT plan to MARRY me. At best, make YOUR divorce happen because YOUR marriage is NOT working. But I am not your property.
Odds are good I will be celibate in meat space for the remainder of my life FOR REASONS OF GERM CONTROL, having nothing to do with what assholes 99 percent of the human race happens to be, especially when it comes to SEX.
And, SO FAR, none of the zillion men who imagined I was their One True Love (TM) whom they would SURELY MARRY has EVER SHOWN THE FUCK UP. Presumably because meeting me in person would require them to wake from the dream and deal with a REAL PERSON who sweats and farts and has bills to pay.
So a word to the wise: I don't recommend "agreeing" to any of the following bullshit for long distance relationships that SO FAR are still online and by phone and you have never even MET THEM in person ONCE:
- Monogamy. Do not agree to be "faithful" because you can bet dollars to donuts they aren't keeping it in their pants for someone they ONLY know online.
- Marriage. Just laugh in their face. Put on repeat.
- Verbally playing out fantasy sex scenarios of things you aren't willing to ACTUALLY do in meat space. (Pro tip: ALWAYS insert the NOT ROMANTIC detail of "... and this is where you PUT ON A CONDOM, right?" in EVERY fantasy.)
Comments