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Experience

Is the person who rushes toward intercourse wasted getting more experience than the person who spends three hours making out with a partner sober and exploring ideas about sexual tension and pleasure and what feels good? ...our emphasis on virginity right now is not doing girls any favors, and of course it also completely disregards gay girls.
Years ago, I read a piece on Craig's List where someone talked about hearing their upstairs neighbor's sex life. The upstairs neighbor was a woman and apparently had a girlfriend for a while and he would hear them giggling and carrying on for long stretches of time, which really did a lot for him as a single guy with no love life, I guess.

So then she got a boyfriend instead and all of the long make-out sessions with endless vocalizations ended and it was clearly kind of a wham, bam, thank you ma'ame kind of thing and he posted on Craig's List both to say he MISSED listening to what had been and also "What the hell??? WHY????"

Having spent some decades as an earthbound human -- or at least PRETENDING to be such (insert old joke here about being a Vulcan doing the field portion of my advanced degree in Human Studies) -- I get the general impression that people typically do a LOT of their sexual exploring in their teens when they aren't yet ready to have heterosexual intercourse and are young enough that they are kind of expected to make out without going all the way.

And then they become ADULTS and stop being "virgins" and 90 percent of that GOES AWAY because NOW they CAN have sex -- SEX of course being what I have seen called PIV intercourse (Penis-in-Vagina intercourse) and everything else being like warm up for losers who aren't yet ready for the real thing.

So if you are a closeted gay gal and have been screwing guys for years and you feel you lack experience and don't really know what GAY sexual experience is all about and yadda, let me ask you this:

Are you experienced? Have you ever been experienced?

Because my general impression is that a LOT of heterosexual sex gives short shrift to female satisfaction. A lot of people seem to ONLY really count the PIV part and the goal seems to be ejaculation and some folks seem hellbent on getting there quickly, like it's a chore they have to tick off for the day.
  1. Brushed teeth? CHECK
  2. Took out the trash? CHECK
  3. Ejaculated? CHECK
Um, yeah.

I'm saying that to say if you've had a LOT of that kind of sex, your problem isn't that you don't know how to have sex with another GIRL, it's that your sex partners have been treating you like a sex object and not even really ENJOYING you.
Ejaculation is the END of pleasure.
-- Some guy
Get a MIRROR. LOOK at your girl parts in it. IDENTIFY your clitoris and your "G Spot" which was so named because researchers kept talking to women who would go "Gee, I have a SPOT like that..."

Figure out what ELSE feels good to you and turns you on. READ stuff online, ideally ANECDOTES from REAL people (Maybe Craig's List? Maybe Reddit?).

Read Girls With Slingshots if you haven't already. Jamie sleeps with like EVERYONE and never has PIV intercourse.

And then pretend you are fifteen again and looking for someone to MAKE OUT WITH because you aren't ready for "real sex" and go have an ACTUAL good time.

Footnote

The NPR article quoted in this piece is one I posted on a forum years ago. You may also be interested in the discussion there.

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