Supporting The Girls

In a mixed gender discussion, someone asked what other women called their breasts and one woman said "The girls" another said "The twins" and a gay man -- a friend of mine -- remarked that it's funny that people say that because most breasts are more like fraternal twins rather than identical twins. That remark hit a nerve for me.

Like many women, mine are not identical and it's been a source of problems with trying to find good support for the girls. But I have also known women who had trouble finding good support because they had a mastectomy, lumpectomy, lymph nodes removed from under their arm, breast reconstruction, breast reduction surgery or otherwise had scars that made normal bras problematic.

This is a post about bras and bra alternatives. It's being posted here in part because Genevieve wanted badly to get a bra at a time when she was still transitioning and still in a lot of danger for various reasons and she completely blew off my attempts to talk about finding support for her budding breasts that was less likely to create social problems for her.

If you are fairly flat-chested, you may not need much support. You may be able to get string bikinis that are basically a couple of triangles of material with strings attached and bras that are more or less the same.

If you have large breasts, you may need serious support, like underwire bras. When I was briefly a double D cup, I bought bras that I thought of as serious architectural support and those were my favorite bras -- at least for a few hours a day. Then evening would come and the underwire was digging into me and I would want out of it.

If you are very busty, sports bras tend to flatten you out some and give solid support, but this is usually not the look most women want for regular clothes. For a time, I often wore sports bras because they were comfortable and gave good support.

When I was younger and an A or B cup, my favorite bras were front closing bras. Unfortunately, these tend to not be available for larger cup sizes -- or weren't back in the day.

Standard bras that close in back are some kind of torture device that are hard to put on, hard to size properly, etc. I am not a fan and prefer to avoid them if possible.

Putting on a front closing bra is more like putting on a vest. It makes logical sense and doesn't take some kind of class to master, classes that tend to not be given to most women from what I gather from reading stuff on the internet and what not.

I had a friend who was very busty. I suggested that an old-fashioned solution like a corset might work better to get her the degree of support she needed. She went to a specialist to try to find a solution because she really had huge breasts and it was an issue. To my amusement, the specialist also recommended a corset as a means to get the support she needed.

If you aren't very busty, a snug tank top or a camisole with built-in cups can be just enough support. This is what I was trying to talk Genevieve into -- wearing a snug tank top to get a little support for her budding breasts without having to worry about how people might react to her clothing choice -- and she rejected it. She hungered for female clothing and female experiences.

The reality is that most women's clothing is awful stuff. It tends to be worse than male clothing about not being designed with fit, comfort and practicality in mind.

Women complain endlessly about a lack of pockets, thin material, shoddy workmanship and other issues. Like a lot of women's clothing, support for the girls seems to be an area where there is still a lot of room for improvement.

If you are trans or a gay woman, you may be inclined to feel that your challenges in finding a means to be comfortable in your clothes is due to your LGBTQ status. I'm inclined to feel that is probably less of an issue than you may think. Lots of cis het women find women's clothing amazingly uncomfortable.

"Ninety percent of everything is crap." And I sometimes feel like it may be closer to 95 percent for women's clothing.