I speak to a lot of hard subjects. Among other things, I'm open about having been sexually abused as a child and about having attempted suicide, but I can be so open about such things in part because I got off light.
I was molested for at least 2 1/2 years and raped at one point. These were certainly traumatic events but they are events I generally refrain from detailing too much, so it's not obvious to other people that as sexual abuse goes, I had it mild.
Although I spent an hour carving on my left wrist one Easter Sunday in an attempt to kill myself and ended up with stitches, it was less than skin deep and there was very little blood. The same low blood sugar incident that helped prompt me to try to kill myself also likely saved my life because the attempt was so incredibly incompetent.
For a very long list of reasons, my family didn't always know how to deal with me and the events of my life, but when push came to shove they tried to do right by me most of the time. So as a consequence of my attempted suicide, thereafter my family gave me my space and stopped trying to be so controlling.
Thus the physical scar from my attempt is really minor and involves zero lingering impairment and it bought me something of value, enough so that I don't regret the attempt. It inadvertently served to communicate to my relatives that what they were doing was harmful and they decided they didn't want me dead, so they stopped even though they had no idea what else to do.
This firsthand experience with the idea of "Just STOP if you know X hurts, even if you have no other solution" likely helped me make the decision to do the same for my own child in an incident I called The Handlicking Incident.
This is one of the reasons I was willing to help Genevieve: She did not get off light and nothing caused her abusive relatives to back off to any degree. I knew from what she told me that her relatives were actually monsters, unlike mine.
It's also why I write about tough topics: I have enough firsthand experience combined with having a longstanding interest in such topics -- so I have read a lot and talked to a lot of people about such things -- to be meaningfully knowledgeable, but my scars and lingering impairments -- both physical and non-physical -- from these events aren't too serious.
I try to cast light on dark topics for the benefit of those who did not get off light and those who cannot so easily speak of their experiences. I do so in hopes of helping them directly to put their demons to rest but also in hopes of improving the general climate and knowledge base for such things as indirect benefit for them as well.
I got off light and was also able to do a lot of repair work, in part because I got a lot of support at times. I write in hopes of helping others more easily find a path forward who haven't been as fortunate as I have been in the aftermath of misfortune.
I was molested for at least 2 1/2 years and raped at one point. These were certainly traumatic events but they are events I generally refrain from detailing too much, so it's not obvious to other people that as sexual abuse goes, I had it mild.
Although I spent an hour carving on my left wrist one Easter Sunday in an attempt to kill myself and ended up with stitches, it was less than skin deep and there was very little blood. The same low blood sugar incident that helped prompt me to try to kill myself also likely saved my life because the attempt was so incredibly incompetent.
For a very long list of reasons, my family didn't always know how to deal with me and the events of my life, but when push came to shove they tried to do right by me most of the time. So as a consequence of my attempted suicide, thereafter my family gave me my space and stopped trying to be so controlling.
Thus the physical scar from my attempt is really minor and involves zero lingering impairment and it bought me something of value, enough so that I don't regret the attempt. It inadvertently served to communicate to my relatives that what they were doing was harmful and they decided they didn't want me dead, so they stopped even though they had no idea what else to do.
This firsthand experience with the idea of "Just STOP if you know X hurts, even if you have no other solution" likely helped me make the decision to do the same for my own child in an incident I called The Handlicking Incident.
This is one of the reasons I was willing to help Genevieve: She did not get off light and nothing caused her abusive relatives to back off to any degree. I knew from what she told me that her relatives were actually monsters, unlike mine.
It's also why I write about tough topics: I have enough firsthand experience combined with having a longstanding interest in such topics -- so I have read a lot and talked to a lot of people about such things -- to be meaningfully knowledgeable, but my scars and lingering impairments -- both physical and non-physical -- from these events aren't too serious.
I try to cast light on dark topics for the benefit of those who did not get off light and those who cannot so easily speak of their experiences. I do so in hopes of helping them directly to put their demons to rest but also in hopes of improving the general climate and knowledge base for such things as indirect benefit for them as well.
I got off light and was also able to do a lot of repair work, in part because I got a lot of support at times. I write in hopes of helping others more easily find a path forward who haven't been as fortunate as I have been in the aftermath of misfortune.
Comments