Many years ago, I had a book written by Camille Paglia. I forget the name. I didn't buy it and wasn't that interested in it and didn't finish reading it, largely because the troglodyte who gave it to me had read it first and left CRUMBS in the book.
If my ex-husband ruled the world, that would likely be a hanging offense. Books should be treated better than that.
Anyway, I read enough of it to see her talk about stripping as an art form and her opinion that we don't have male strippers because when men are naked, you can see everything but when a woman is naked, you STILL cannot see her genitals. All you see is a patch of hair. Her genitals remain concealed after she has taken everything off.
Which is a thought-provoking idea that gives a better explanation for "Why do we have female strippers but mostly don't have male strippers?" than your typical assumptions about men having money and power and women being merely sex objects.
I'm a very hetero-passing woman who is 99 percent interested in men. In recent decades, my romantic relationships have been with men.
The vast majority of men do not like me initiating anything, which is sort of amusing because of the number of people who see me as very aggressive and attractive because of it and, yet, they STILL do NOT want me initiating in the vast majority of cases. I've known two men who told me I needed to "ask" and I'm inclined to think both were making up bullshit justifications for their refusal to meet my needs.
Everyone else is completely happy that I am willing to make myself available when they want attention. That works for them.
After much thought, I have concluded that this isn't because "Men have money and power and just treat women as sex objects" or similar stereotypes. I have concluded men don't want me to, say, call them and give them a boner when they are about to go to an important meeting or are walking around in public.
And I have begun to wonder if this detail explains a lot of stereotypical "personality" differences between men and women generally. I have even begun to wonder if the male need to have control over when and where they get all hot bothered -- because it SHOWS on a man more than a woman -- is a root cause of behaviors associated with "assholes with money and power" and if this control-freak tendency helps foster the development of male power rather than the power men tend to have being what fosters "asshole control-freak behaviors."
I am in some ways very traditionally feminine. I'm pretty happy to be accommodating of his quirks and schedule if he's making me happy.
But it's such a consistent pattern that I couldn't help but wonder why and I generally don't much like a lot of our stereotypically "Men are just all assholes" unthinking answers about so-called sexism and other gendered issues. So this is my tentative conclusion on the matter.
If my ex-husband ruled the world, that would likely be a hanging offense. Books should be treated better than that.
Anyway, I read enough of it to see her talk about stripping as an art form and her opinion that we don't have male strippers because when men are naked, you can see everything but when a woman is naked, you STILL cannot see her genitals. All you see is a patch of hair. Her genitals remain concealed after she has taken everything off.
Which is a thought-provoking idea that gives a better explanation for "Why do we have female strippers but mostly don't have male strippers?" than your typical assumptions about men having money and power and women being merely sex objects.
I'm a very hetero-passing woman who is 99 percent interested in men. In recent decades, my romantic relationships have been with men.
The vast majority of men do not like me initiating anything, which is sort of amusing because of the number of people who see me as very aggressive and attractive because of it and, yet, they STILL do NOT want me initiating in the vast majority of cases. I've known two men who told me I needed to "ask" and I'm inclined to think both were making up bullshit justifications for their refusal to meet my needs.
Everyone else is completely happy that I am willing to make myself available when they want attention. That works for them.
After much thought, I have concluded that this isn't because "Men have money and power and just treat women as sex objects" or similar stereotypes. I have concluded men don't want me to, say, call them and give them a boner when they are about to go to an important meeting or are walking around in public.
And I have begun to wonder if this detail explains a lot of stereotypical "personality" differences between men and women generally. I have even begun to wonder if the male need to have control over when and where they get all hot bothered -- because it SHOWS on a man more than a woman -- is a root cause of behaviors associated with "assholes with money and power" and if this control-freak tendency helps foster the development of male power rather than the power men tend to have being what fosters "asshole control-freak behaviors."
I am in some ways very traditionally feminine. I'm pretty happy to be accommodating of his quirks and schedule if he's making me happy.
But it's such a consistent pattern that I couldn't help but wonder why and I generally don't much like a lot of our stereotypically "Men are just all assholes" unthinking answers about so-called sexism and other gendered issues. So this is my tentative conclusion on the matter.